Time for an update though there really isn't an update.

My head/chest cold is almost gone. Lots of sleep and a quiet weekend (plus antibiotics, fresh squeezed OJ and homemade chicken rice soup!) was much appreciated.

Last Friday (the 29th) we met with the Pulmonologist. He confirmed that after looking over the PET scan results with his colleague, that indeed my lung masses/nodules lit up (mostly right side but the nodules on the left rang like a bell as well) as well as my Lymph nodes indicating cancer. I asked if this means I can actually say I have cancer. That finally I have a diagnosis no one can wish away (because if they could, my support group would have cured cancer with their love by now). There's such a small chance it could be anything but cancer, that he said we're confidently going with cancer. Oh, and good news! He's had lots of patients live long past the 5 year survival rate. Which hits like an anvil to the head. The reality is that lung cancer is the second biggest cause of death behind heart disease; and that's what I'm dealing with. The reality is that this could kill me regardless of what we do/try. There's also a concern that everything is so deep in my chest, it's more difficult to get in there and biopsy or potentially do surgery. It's on my chart guys, I have cancer. The lung doc also officially put in the referral to an oncologist. I get a cancer doctor and team!

The referral for a biopsy is in. The biopsy will tell us the cancer of origin (probably lung - though small chance it could be lymphoma and that'd be the better cancer to have). Biopsy will also give us more specific information on what kind of cancer. The biopsy is going to be an ebus procedure. Fancy. Kind of like Mrs. Frizzle and her magic school bus - going in to explore my cancerous insides!

So the journey continues and let me tell you: settle down and hold your tits. There's going to be a LOT of waiting. If ya'll could cure cancer, I'm sure you would, but until then, I'm not the only one with big scary C word. I have to wait for other folks to get their turn. I'll make it on the schedule but it won't be tomorrow. Everything has to go through the HMO and the prior authorization department before it gets to the scheduling department. And then they have to get ahold of ME. So no current appointments on the calendar at this time.

Cancer. Head Cold. And then I just found out that a young man who was the same age as my youngest baby child, took his own life. It has devastated me and I'm sad beyond belief. So if there is anything you can do to support me, the biggest thing is to do today is to hug your loved ones and help make the world a more kind, compassionate place.

I'll leave these programs here if you want to make a monetary donation to hopefully move the needle towards a most amazing compassionate world.

It Gets Better Project, whose mission is to empower, and connect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer youth.
https://give.itgetsbetter.org/give/250737/#!/donation/checkout

NAMI - National Alliance on Mental Illness. Advocacy to better the lives of those struggling with mental health.
https://donate.nami.org/give/197406/#!/donation/checkout?

Wellspace Health, a local health care center supporting those in need.
https://www.wellspacehealth.org/giving/donate

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
https://supporting.afsp.org/index.cfm?fuseaction=cms.page&id=1733&language=en

Thank you all <3